Christmas 2011

Loving my white Christmas Tree this year!!

Well....

We are pregnant again!!!! We had our first ultrasound Wednedsay and the baby is perfect! Very strong heartbeat and it's measuring exactly to the day, so everything is fine this time! Please add me and Baby Van Horn to your prayer list. I will keep you updated!

Love,
Jenn and Baby V

It's been a while

I've heard people (my sister in particular) say before that blogging is therapy for them and I've never really quite got that. But lately I've had so much inside that I feel like I need to just "get out" so I figured what tha heck....I will give it a try and see if it makes me feel any better. So here goes.

Since we lost the baby I just haven't been myself AT All and I can't get back to ME. I know that sounds retarded, but that's the only way I know to put it. I'm better and more myself than I've been in a long, long time, but I'm not 100 percent myself yet. I want to be more than anything, but I just can't get there. We wanted the baby so bad and we were SOOO excited about it. We saw the heartbeat twice and that was my reassurance that everything was fine and then wham~the rug was snatched right out from under us and all I could think was I can't believe this is happening and really ever since then it was like I was walking around in a fog or something. Going through the motions of everyday life trying to be as normal as possible for the kids, but my heart just absolutely ached,every second of every day and so did Kyle's. There is no other way to describe it. I felt a grief like I have never ever never felt before. Just a sadness that wouldn't go away. The sadness is still there, but it's better and I don't walk around wanting to cry all the time. I am getting back to my normal self, but it has taken a very long time. Like I just started feeling like the old Jenn again like only about 3 weeks ago. I've always heard people talk about depression or not being able to just get over something, but I never really understood it because I have never in my life been depressed. I just always thought depression was a "choice" kinda sorta. You make a choice to view your cup as half empty OR half full and life happens and you suck it up and look on the bright side. I now know that sadness and grief and depression does exsist and it's real and sometimes things happen that you can just suck up and get over. I guess that was God's way of showing me to have compassion for other people and to be sympathetic to people who are going through things. Which what I went through wasn't really depression, it was more of a grieving process. It just lasted longer than I thought it would. Anyway, I am better and I thank God everyday for all the blessings that he has given me and for our 3 healthy children. We do want one together and if it's God's will, then we will have a little smushed together jenn/kyle running around. Just pray for us that our hearts will continue to heal (mine and Kyle's both) and our joy will continue to creep back in. I guess blogging really IS therapy. I think it did make me feel better to get all that out.

I love ya'll with my whole heart!

Love,
Auntie Jenn

Very Sad....

We lost the baby this week. Please keep us in your prayers. We certainly do not understand, but we can't question God either. He knows what is best and we know that our sweet baby is in heaven and we will see it one day.

Love,
Jenn

My Due Date.....

Has been changed to Oct. 25th. I had my first ultrasound today and the baby measured 6 weeks 1 day. SO I'm not quite as far along as they had originally thought. But that is perfectly fine. We go to see the heartbeat and now we have piece of mind that everything is fine and everything is where it's suppose to be. So Yay! Yay! We are super excited and so thankful to God for this baby that we have wanted for so long. Pray for us that everything continues to go smoothly and as it should. My scanner is messed up, so I can't scan the u/s picture in, but hopefully I will be able to get it fixed and get it scanned in tomorrow so I can post it here.

Love ya'll!!!

Auntie Jenn

A-LOT to share!

It's been forever since I've posted here. I just haven't taken the time to lately, but I'm back and have so much to share. SO..... exciting news.......we are having a baby!!! My due date is Oct. 12th and we all are so excited and can't wait. The kids are super excited!!! Our first ultrasound is Wed. March 2nd, which is NEXT Wednesday. I'm so ready for it to be here. Since I'm over 35~ I'm considered high risk so that's why they are going to do an ultrasound at 8 weeks. Please keep us in your prayers that everything will go smoothly and I will have a healthy pregnancy. We have so much to do to get ready for the baby and it's going to be so much fun....alot of work, but so much fun. Check back soon for more updates!

Love ya'll!

First Day of School

3rd and 8th grade! Wow, I can't believe our kids are growing up so fast.

And also I added a slide show of the new bathroom above. We love it! It looks even better in person. We all want to stay in there all the time! Too funny! Ok, well ya'll have an awesome night. I love ya'll bunches!